tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9128337205144111110.post5634266838745222751..comments2023-06-22T07:49:35.377-07:00Comments on I'm telling you stories. Trust me.: #FridayFlash 38 and WAG - First day of the rest of your lifeLauren Cude Horsfallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15713938333921978342noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9128337205144111110.post-64441175318630611242010-06-03T23:22:41.218-07:002010-06-03T23:22:41.218-07:00Cute story. Yes, I'd say that stands alone as ...Cute story. Yes, I'd say that stands alone as a story. When I was single, I never had enough guts to go up to a woman and try something that bold.Eric J. Krausehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05774468607814244185noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9128337205144111110.post-21738426959717719232010-06-04T01:39:06.812-07:002010-06-04T01:39:06.812-07:00Good for him. :) I have to say it was a gamble, bu...Good for him. :) I have to say it was a gamble, but he did it.<br><br>Skipping heads between the first and second paragraph was a little unsettling but for the length of the piece it sort of works.Jen Brubacherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01425418200940737247noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9128337205144111110.post-50946858097202935272010-06-04T03:17:50.035-07:002010-06-04T03:17:50.035-07:00I think it stands on its own just fine, but you co...I think it stands on its own just fine, but you could use it as an intro to a larger piece. There is a beginning, a middle with a goal, and an end. <br><br>I enjoyed this. It was really cute and sort of sweet.ganymederhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14160039271069426174noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9128337205144111110.post-27249971851915863382010-06-04T08:00:25.950-07:002010-06-04T08:00:25.950-07:00I think it stands on its own, and the title adds a...I think it stands on its own, and the title adds another dimension to it, too.<br>It's got an uplifting end to it (here's hoping the guy isn't a serial killer or something!)mazzz in Leedshttp://mazzz-in-leeds.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9128337205144111110.post-82152094493635172532010-06-04T09:48:39.317-07:002010-06-04T09:48:39.317-07:00Thanks guys. This is a bit of a departure from my...Thanks guys. This is a bit of a departure from my usual style so I really wasn't sure how it'd read...<br><br>Jen - that's a good point. I added that in at the last sec to try to give a bit more depth to a very short piece, but maybe I should've left it in just one voice?Lauren Cudehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15713938333921978342noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9128337205144111110.post-7328925921068899942010-06-07T07:30:38.266-07:002010-06-07T07:30:38.266-07:00It does stand alone as a short story quite well.Th...It does stand alone as a short story quite well.<br><br>The only suggestion I have is that in first paragraph you say that he asked, "...the woman standing next to him..."<br><br>And in second paragraph you have the attractive man "...standing next to her..."<br><br>Don't think you need to establish again that they're standing next to each other. :)Marisa Birnshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17945909737147497606noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9128337205144111110.post-5905669295002563052010-06-07T08:45:41.634-07:002010-06-07T08:45:41.634-07:00Good catch Marisa! Edited to reflect :)Thanks :)...Good catch Marisa! Edited to reflect :)<br><br>Thanks :)Lauren Cudehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15713938333921978342noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9128337205144111110.post-29428331201138861322010-06-07T09:45:58.627-07:002010-06-07T09:45:58.627-07:00Short & sweet. A moment in time. To me that...Short & sweet. A moment in time. To me that's what flash and micro-flash is about.Susan Crosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05076064230626935030noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9128337205144111110.post-68580922383986267612010-06-07T16:50:30.917-07:002010-06-07T16:50:30.917-07:00Cute and sweet. It stands alone in my opinion. Jus...Cute and sweet. It stands alone in my opinion. Just one of those brief encounters that might or might not change their whole lives.<br><br>And then if you wanted, you could explore those possibilities. :)<br><br>Nice story.Graciehttp://gmotley.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9128337205144111110.post-66884405336729942702010-06-08T13:53:31.333-07:002010-06-08T13:53:31.333-07:00Thanks for posting this story. I really enjoyed it...Thanks for posting this story. I really enjoyed it. It was one of my favorites this week. -TimKTim Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01317561917487132989noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9128337205144111110.post-8811361331177132022010-06-09T08:57:06.562-07:002010-06-09T08:57:06.562-07:00Thanks all :) Glad you enjoyed it!Thanks all :) Glad you enjoyed it!Lauren Cudehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15713938333921978342noreply@blogger.com